29 NOVEMBER 2015
OMG, more than a year since I last posted.
Have been working for slightly more than a year now. and my thoughts so far is -- working life sucks, all the more so if the superior is a psychotic bitch.
was looking at the sky when the sun has almost set today and suddenly sadness came over me. I am very unhappy now at this stage of life. I miss those carefree days, when I could do whatever I like. I miss the days when I had my own life and honest to myself and shout "NO!" to whoever who pissed me off or didn't make sense. I belong with the nature, the wind, where I can go wherever I want.
At present, this psychotic bitch in the office is affecting my personal life and I don't like it. I hate it! and it is putting my relationship with my boyfriend at risk because whenever the bitch gets out of control and lashes out unreasonably, I took the shit and then took it out on my boyfriend. She sucks seriously. Such unprofessionalism for a manager. Sometimes I just hope she gets a real big retribution fast for treating others so nastily.
There's not much time for hobbies now as well when I have not much personal time. This is also killing me. I hate it when I have no time for personal development. Feels like life is withering away...
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Saturday, August 16, 2014
16 AUGUST
HALF YEAR MARK!!! XD really thankful for the boyfriend's kindness, patience and understanding. I'm not exactly the easiest person to get along with but he sucked it all up anyway. well, we've been sharing more personal stuff and having more serious conversations. I realised he thinks more than he seems to be. yayz! i love intelligent man :p and he is so sensitive to the feelings of his friends and family, how cool is that! I didn't think guys are capable of such things. anyway, been loving the dating and I hope things continue to be great! :D oh and he made me a sort of card with photos of us together! love that! haha, feeling kinda guilty cuz I didn't give him anything :x
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Friday, August 1, 2014
1 AUGUST
I don't understand how some people can be attached for only a year (and having first met their lover for less than 2 years) and are already talking about marriage and babies. Am I just afraid of commitment or they are just super anxious to get married? How can u be so sure of that guy/girl, that he/she is the right person for u, that he/she will never betray your trust? For me, I have more trust in my best friends than my boyfriend. Am I just paranoid or is this just normal?
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Tuesday, July 22, 2014
22 July
I was clearing Whatsapp conversations last night. and I saw the conversation with jojo. I have been messaging her since months before she was gone but got no reply from her... since her passing on every now and then I think about her. I recall how we had the talk about life and society at the rooftop garden of the Buddha Tooth Relic Temple, how we wonder about life after we graduate, if we are going to be like everyone else- find an office job, get married, have kids or are we gonna follow our passion and do what we want despite disapproval from friends and family. I have always looked forward to growing up with her, sharing these life views with each other at different stages of life, guide and support each other throughout. Now that she's gone, I feel I've lost a part of me. Anyway Joanna, I hope u are in a better place now and happy :D I'll always love u.
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16 MARCH 2014
I can say I am rather independent. I have always tried to work and figure things out by myself. I also have a strong personality and physique to the extent that my friends always refer to me as the 'man' or 'hunk'. Recently a guy has walked into my life. He pampers and cares for me in ways no one has ever done for me. When I had sore throat, he brought medicine to my void deck; carried 3 litres of water around in his bag when we went out together, took the bottle of water out every now and then, uncapped it and got me to drink up; offered to carry my bag; made me honey water and brought it to my void deck; delivered herbal tea to my void deck on a rainy day, etc. He is so sweet in many ways and he did all these knowing I have commitment phobia. Under the circumstances when the relationship isn't so certain, I don't understand why he can do these things...
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Saturday, November 30, 2013
6 NOVEMBER
the last class for translation, and I was 45mins late. oh god, *slaps myself* sincerest apologies to my beloved lecturer. It's a little depressing that I won't get to attend anymore translation classes. I will miss the lecturers, I'm sure. Especially Cui Feng. He is so learned, has high social status, high qualifications, yet he is one of the most modest and helpful lecturers I have had. His passion for translation is influential. I respect and love him for that. He said to approach him if we ever want to discuss or ask about any thing translation or related career. Grades has never been the focus of his teaching. He seeks for us to appreciate translation like art, to arouse our interest in it, to nurture that budding interest, to inculcate responsible actions. It's really like an art and personal development class. It's always been a pleasure to attend his class although for the first half of the semester I practically understood only 50% of his words because I am not accustomed to listening to academic Mandarin speech and I don't know literary technical terms in Mandarin. He noticed my friend and I though. He is aware that we are not Chinese majors and approached us after the first lesson to ask if we had any difficulties understanding his class. I very much wanted to tell him I needed help but my friend kept interrupting me when I tried to voice it out.
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Thursday, November 28, 2013
20 NOVEMBER
I have finally submitted my FYP, 1.5 days late. of all assignments in university, I handed in the FYP late... Bravo me LOL! never leave your sheet blank, eh? It wasn't really complete though, the appendix was a little crappy. But I had to submit it before too many marks get deducted. Moreover, I was at my limit. Haha, had enough of it. Nonetheless, I think it was a great learning experience. I've learnt alot, from coming up with a topic, to literature review, designing, collecting data and writing. Frantisek, my FYP supervisor, had been a terrific and responsible supervisor. He had given me alot of guidance and encouragement. I couldn't ask for more. There is a limit of 7 consultation sessions each of us can have with our FYP supervisor. Frantisek, however, was not very calculative. I meet him almost weekly, having at least 10 sessions throughout my FYP period. He also pointed out my weakness - that I am very afraid to write without having full knowledge of the topic. He advised that in reality, we can never fully understand something and we have to work with that lack of understanding and produce what we have to. He also said that with this weakness, my FYP topic is especially to my disadvantage, but it is a good learning experience for me. It is very comforting that he is not very grade conscious, rather he places emphasis on the learning process. I feel like I have let him down because the procrastination caused the work quality to drop. He, however, was still very patient and caring right to the end. Days before the FYP deadline, he would read and edit the drafts I had sent him each day, and often getting back to me after midnight. I am really grateful for what he has done for me.
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Thursday, November 7, 2013
5 NOVEMBER 2013
Handed in my translation assignment 2 hours late. oh well, what's done cannot be undone :p I don't even have confidence in the work I have produced. one of the worst and most complicated assignment I've had. I had to set foot into areas which I am least familiar with. Of course, being human, that came with a truck full of fears. What is relevant? what to read? who, where, what, when, how... I went Google-ing for anything and everything... China history, political parties, authors background, books summaries, translation theories, etc. behaved like a headless chicken, pretty much. this assignment is worth 60% of the grade. omg, that sure spark panic attacks. LOL! Wen Hang did tell me some points she included in her paper, but I pretty much didn't understand where they came from so I didn't use them.
Anyway, it was some crash course for me on many things, and Wikipedia was the main 'instructor'. LOL! do you think I have the time to read books and papers on things like politics, history, sociology, etc? HAHA! and I finally know who is 孙中山... seriously, before this, I thought he was some famous Singapore guy. Singapore media sure portrayed him that way. now i know he was the first provisional president in China. OMG!
This is the last assignment for translation. Completed all 4 translation modules. a fun minor I would say, and awesome teachers. Will love to take more translation modules anytime, if there's more...
On another note... FYP IS DUE IN 1.5 WEEKSSSS! o.o! I have lit review half done, and data tabulation half done, nothing for analysis and discussion. *stabs myself*
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Tuesday, October 15, 2013
15 OCTOBER 2013
もう二ヶ月過ごしたが、時々あの友達を考えます。やはり友達を失うのは哀しいことです。残念と思っていますが、ちょっとほっとしました。だって彼女が何時怒るのか、嫉妬しているのか全然分からないです。私の言葉や、動きが 彼女に怒らせたのか、ずっと怖がっていたです。そろそろこの想いを消すべきでしょう。。。
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Saturday, October 5, 2013
5 OCTOBER
FYP, why you so difficult!!! I think I need to chill and take it less seriously otherwise I can't bring myself to start work... And honestly, I think I work better when I don't give a damn about my grades. Why have I gotten so afraid to lose stuff recently?! Why all the uncertainties and fears in me now :'(
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